so i've been resisting putting anything on here since mr. what's-his-face at 722 made fun of people displaying their lives for the world on blogs yada yada yada. but i figure i don't count, since i don't even know what i'm talking about half the time... if the world at large can figure out what i'm thinking, they should let me know. all i know is life is great. seriously amazing. class is not so bad, i'm getting oodles of hours at the hospital, i've gotten some good quality time slash adventure time with great friends, and then there is that one detail about a someone. a really amazing someone :-) for awhile i thought, "oh gosh, i don't deserve this at all," but now i've come to realize that i really don't deserve much of any of the blessings God has given, so whether i deserve this is pretty irrelevant- the deal is, i was an idiot, a complete moron, really, and i thought i just messed everything up, but me being stupid? that was part of God's plan, not that He opted for me being stupid, but He knew i would get dumb temporarily (?) and He's used it to make this so much better than i could have imagined. way to put me in my place, thanks Jesus :-) aaaannnnddddd, speaking of Jesus, you ever just feel like you've fallen in love all over again, it's like some new view of who He is just becomes blatantly apparent when it was completely hidden before, and you think, "wow, can't believe i missed that, You're so much more..." it's pretty incredible. i mean, He's pretty incredible. all of this, all at once, i'm basically walking in the clouds, it's kinda nice up here, i highly recommend it :-)


thank You, Jesus, for being different, for teaching way outside of the box
thank You for challenging us daily
thank You for showing a love that i can't imagine, that i keep trying to but secretly hoping that i can still never fully grasp... it's that big
thank You for proving Your love, for leaving no doubt
thank You for the Holy Spirit that makes me believe even if it seems crazy
and thank You for answering prayers different from what we ask... in better ways than we thought existed :-)

today was great

...tomorrow will be better...

btw, read blue like jazz. seriously. it's amazing.

oh wow, i'm going down fast, way faster than i thought i could. ::sigh:: this is amazing

BUT, do you know what is not amazing?! dna restriction, that's what. so if anyone out there has any words of wisdom about restriction sites, ligations, yada yada yada, please help!

tonight was fun at the hospital, lots of stuff to do, way too many patients on our floor, one very amusing woman who had the loudest voice i have ever heard

jessica is officially in delaware now. i think it's time for a road trip :-P i miss her already!

ok, so now i'm going to attempt to keep my mind from wandering (which has been completely impossible these days...) and get this stinkin' lab report done

this weekend was amazing. oh wow, it makes me smile every time i think about it!

and that is all i have to say about that...


"Lord renew my mind, as Your will unfolds in my life..."

so jessica came for one last visit before she leaves for delaware. and she stopped by to say goodbye. so we stood in the kitchen and talked about all of the spontaneous weekend visits we would have and hugged, and eventually she made it out the door. and kristin and i stood there being sad for about two seconds, and i opened the door and ran after her and gave her a big bear hug and we all stood in the hallway and cried and all that girly stuff. oh wow, i'm gonna miss her so much. oh gosh!!! i just realized i'm down to one (ish) coffee buddy! oh, that's just not ok. i need to start recruiting. and no more moe's. or staring at her catalogued list of movies for 45 minutes trying to decide what to watch. or having conversations about the most morbid things we can think of (i guess that can be done via phone, but it's just not the same without the funny faces). at least she's gonna be near philadelphia... one more excuse to get up there (because i needed that...)

so i'm supposed to be studying, and don't you love those "i have two papers due tomorrow that i haven't started" realizations? yeah, because i just had one. but they're short. so it's ok... ? oh well, not the first time :-P

and can i just say that if gretchen was not one of my most favorite people on earth and if i hadn't been promising to come this weekend for the past couple o' months... i would be going home. as fast as i could. :-) happy happy happy

i'm thirsty

so i've had this stupid smile plastered on my face for the past two days... and i wish i could put into words how i feel, but i just can't. this is all new... and i'm loving it :-) i am so humbled by God's mercy, His love and forgiveness... just wow ::happy sigh::

oh btw, i have to learn not to talk a mile a minute when i'm nervous. soon. it's very annoying :-P

i put in nine hours at the hospital today! do i win, or do i win?!

i only have three glorious hours left at the library. forever. if you could see me, you would know that the very thought of this makes me dance. which would make you, dear reader, laugh. a lot. it makes me sad that this job aggravates me so much, because i love libraries, but apparently not working in them. i still want to own a bookstore someday. or i can just live vicariously through aunt kate. which i have been known to do on occasion. that bookstore is amazing.

i didn't get my greyhound this weekend. diane doesn't know it, but she's going to cave in and let me adopt one.

do you ever get dyslexic with keys on the keyboard? because i definitely do. just thought i'd share.

i forgot to make hang-gliding reservations today. oh dear, i am awful :-(

i have to study limnology. which i love. more than life. ha. or maybe i could just beat my head against a wall. oh, and can i just say that i got the most jacked lab report assignment today?! four solid pages of short answer (which for this prof is really a multi-volume work...) due friday. oh, and we get a take-home test on wednesday that is also due on friday. ok, so it's not the end of the world, but really? doesn't he know this is my last semester, and i am done with silly lab reports and meaningless tests? i seem to have misplaced my motivation...

and one last thing before i go... overripe bananas make me sad. unless they're in banana bread. and then it's ok.


"and i will open up my heart, search me in the deepest part. and i will stand in cleansing fire, by You, purified. by You, i'm purified"

open the flood gates of heaven, let it rain

so i think it's time for a trip, you know, time to take in some new scenery, clear the dust and cobwebs from from wee lil brain. i've been thinking, i would really like to go to vermont. i have never been, and i'm just not ok with that anymore, must change that. i mean, it must be great, their maple syrup is great, so the rest of the state must be amazing. and this time of year? oh yes, i believe it's time to go somewhere in new england. and with gas prices the way they are, there are now no excuses for lack of road-trippage. i think i'll leave in the morning.

my room smells funny. i bought these pretty fall colored flowers, and while i was gone this weekend, they basically started to rot. how unpleasant. :-P

this weekend was amazing fun. had to postpone backpacking b/c jessica bailed at the prospect of rain (which, btw, it was completely dry the whole time. boo.) so we picked apples and made applesauce. green applesauce. just fyi, you can't really dye applesauce blue... my primary school education apparently was less than satisfactory ;-) so yes, we have yucky looking green applesauce now. and we got to all hang out. really. everybody (plus a baby. plus one on the way. wow.). and then we went to starbucks and discussed how much we've changed, yada yada yada.

AND... i gave my two weeks notice to the library. and life is good. just can't justify missing out on some very limited family/friends time for a minimum wage, pain-in-the-butt job. hmmmmm... family or about two bucks after taxes... that was tough. :-P

and God's been teaching me lots. lessons in love, in provision, in trust, in patience, plus some. lessons i needed. lessons i seem to always need. if i don't consciously decide to focus on Christ, i subconsciously begin to doubt Him, and it shows in my attitude and my actions, my words, everything. i wonder how He doesn't get tired of me sometimes :-) but He doesn't, and that's the beauty of it, that's a love i can't comprehend.

and now i have to go buy new hiking boots. because mine have fallen into the black hole that is my closet. should probably do something about that...